This Tangled Web
by musthavebeentheweather
Summary: A collection of drabbles collected from Tumblr. Mostly Klaine related, ranging widely in their subject matter. T overall, M in a few chapters
1. Late Night Skype

**Prompt: Kurt and Blaine skype**

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><p>"Blaine, I have to go."<p>

"Liar. You just need to go do all your face cleaning stuff and you don't want me to see you in a face mask."

"No! Well… But I… Just say goodnight, Blaine!"

"Nope! Kurt, it's been four months since we got together and I've known you even longer than that. I've seen you shirtless. I've seen you asleep. I don't think it's that big of a deal for me to see you in your face mask."

"Oh my good Lord, _fine_. Wait a minute."

Kurt carried his laptop over to his vanity and set it carefully on the corner that wasn't completely covered in various containers of creams and serums. He adjusted the screen so that Blaine could see him and he could see Blaine. He loved when they Skyped like this right before bed. Blaine always looked so adorably rumpled, laying back in his bed in his old Dalton soccer t-shirts, hugging one of his pillows while they chatted about their days.

Thank the powers that be for video chatting, or else Kurt Hummel would be having a very difficult time with the two hour distance between them.

"What's that stuff for, anyway?" Blaine asked, hugging his pillow tighter to his chest and tipping his curly head to one side.

"It tightens your pores," Kurt answered as he began to spread the thick paste over his forehead. "It's really good for making your skin smoother and keeping it soft."

"Well, clearly it works, because I love to kiss your cheeks. And your forehead. And your nose. And your chin. And you. All of you."

"Eloquent, Blaine. Very eloquent." Kurt finished applying the mask and then sat back in the chair to wait for it to dry. Blaine let out a giggle that he attempted to muffle in his pillow. "What's so funny?"

"You look like you stuck your face in pea soup or something. It's funny. And it makes me kind of hungry, actually…"

"Oh my God, Blaine, you are _such_ a boy sometimes." Kurt rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop the smile that stretched across his face, cracking the already drying mask at the corners of his lips.

"And you wouldn't have me any other way," Blaine returned, batting his eyelashes at the camera.

"No," Kurt said softly. "No, I wouldn't."


	2. Never Take Santana Bowling

**Prompt: Santana, Blaine, and Kurt go bowling.**

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><p>Santana smirked as her ball rolled down the lane and knocked all of the pins over in yet another perfect strike. She was kicking ass at this game tonight. If only Hummel would get the stick out of his butt and stop being a sore loser, everything would be just peachy. Or maybe it was because he <em>needed<em> something up his butt and then he would loosen up a little bit.

"Hummel, you need to get laid." Santana quipped as she plopped down in her seat next to Kurt's Warbler. Blaine politely scooted over to make enough room for Santana to sit comfortable and Santana responded by swinging her legs up into his lap and pulling him closer. "I'm sure this fine young gentleman here would be more than happy to oblige you if you asked him."

"Umm, Santana, I'm not sure…" Blaine began before Kurt cut him off.

"SANTANA. Mind your own business. Just because you constantly have sex on the brain doesn't mean I do as well." Kurt tipped his nose higher up into the air, refusing to look at any of them.

"Come on, Kurt. All Blanderson wants to do is taste your sweet virgin blood. It's not that difficult. All you have to do is lay there. He'll do most of the work." Santana smirked as Kurt turned to glare at her. He smoothed his palms across the tops of his thighs before turning in his seat to face Blaine.

"Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that, Santana. Blaine seemed to be doing a lot of work a few nights ago when he was riding me, weren't you, honey?" Kurt's tone dripped with venomous honey as he reached over to pet Blaine's cheek. Blaine was blushing scarlet as he tried desperately to look anywhere but at Santana.

"Blanderson! I would not have pegged you as a bottom type in a million years. Or maybe I _should_ have pegged you since that's what you seem to like…"

"Okaaaay, Santana! Thank you!" Blaine blurted out, standing up suddenly and grabbing his wallet off of the table between them. "Anyone else want another soda? I definitely need another soda."

As Blaine turned to walk away, Santana looked over at Kurt, finding him smiling to himself.

"You look triumphant," she said, resting her chin on her hands.

"Oh, I _feel_triumphant. He make look innocent on the outside, but when you get him all worked up…. Well… He's a bit of a screamer."

Santana smiled as she sucked the last bit of Diet Coke out of the bottom of her glass. Maybe this night wouldn't turn out to be half as boring as she thought it was going to be.


	3. From Father, With Love

**Prompt: Blaine contemplates his relationship with Kurt**

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><p>Blaine dropped his messenger bag next to the door as he walked into his bedroom, tossed his phone onto the bed, and flung himself down right after it. It had been an unusually long day at Six Flags, and all he wanted to do was sleep for hours. He and Kurt had had plans for that evening to go see a movie and hang out at Kurt's house afterwards, but Blaine had called Kurt asking if they could reschedule. He was just so exhausted, and he cringed inwardly when he thought of how disappointed Kurt had sounded when he got Blaine's call.<p>

It just wasn't fair.

Blaine loved Kurt with more of his heart than he had ever loved anyone. But he really needed this job. It was Blaine's plan to make as much money as he could this summer and the next, before he went away to college, so that when he did he wouldn't have to rely on his father for everything. It had been okay at home up until Blaine had come home from school one March afternoon with a grin on his face big enough to reach to the moon and back. He couldn't not tell his parents that Kurt was his boyfriend now. Blaine had been raised better than to keep things from his family, especially important things that were a large part of his life. So he had told them. He and Kurt were boyfriends now.

His father had smiled then. He didn't anymore.

So Blaine tried to keep Kurt away from his family. His father would never say it out loud, but he did not approve of Blaine's boyfriend. Blaine didn't even bother trying to explain to him how wonderful Kurt was. It didn't matter that Kurt got good grades and could change the oil on a car in ten minutes flat. Kurt would never be a girl, and so he was not good enough for Blaine's father.

Blaine rolled over on his bed and grabbed the photo of himself and Kurt at prom off of his nightstand. He ran a finger gently over the glass, tracing Kurt's profile. His boyfriend was beautiful. He was perfect. Blaine had never been happier in his life. And it was just such a shame that Blaine's father would never know that.


	4. Those Things Edward Cullen Does

**Prompt: Something with Finn and Puck together**

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><p>"Dude, I just don't get it. It doesn't matter what I do. She keeps holding out. I mean, if I were a chick, I would so not be holding out on this. This here is some prime Puckzilla real estate." Puck gestured to himself with the slice of pizza in his hand before shoving it into his mouth and picking up the Xbox controller again. He navigated through the menus to get back to the game. All he really wanted to do was kill some stuff.<p>

"I don't know, man. Rachel won't let me touch her under her clothes, let alone below the waist. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm fine with kissing and stuff like that, but it's just…." Finn sighed and guzzled the last of his Coke. "I'm a dude. I have needs. And you can't tell me that the chicks don't want it just as badly."

"I know! They all say how it's so much better just to keep it in your pants, but I know they want it. Lauren's just as horny as I am, I see all that fanfiction shit she reads. You don't even wanna know some of the stuff I've seen Edward Cullen get up to in those things."

Finn grumbled to himself and turned back to the game. If he couldn't get his sexual frustrations figured out, at least he could shoot some zombies. That was always fun.

As Finn and Puck got more involved in their game, they didn't notice the door opening and Kurt and Blaine coming into the living room. As Puck died for the eighth time that night, he flung his controller across the room, narrowly missing smacking Kurt in the face where he had taken up residence on Blaine's lap where both boys were cuddled into the recliner.

"Watch it, Puckerman. I know where all the knives are hidden and I know you're sleeping here tonight. By the way, Finn, Carole called and said that she and Dad aren't coming home tonight. They're going to stay in Columbus." Kurt tucked his feet up onto the recliner next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms tighter around Blaine's neck.

"Dude, sweet. And I still don't know why you insisted on hiding the knives. I only cut myself that one time." Finn ripped open another bag of Doritos and shoved his hand inside to grab a fistful.

Kurt grimaced. "You were making Jello, Finn. How the hell did you manage to cut yourself making Jello?"

"You know, it's harder than it looks." Blaine said, his eyebrows crinkling in the middle as he frowned. "I can never get it to set properly and then it's all runny and gross."

"Oh, sweetie. It's okay. As long as you never forget how to make that hot chocolate like you do, I think I'll keep you." Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's forehead and reached up to twist one of his curls around his finger. "Come on, let's go upstairs. Since our parents aren't going to be around, you should spend the night. I've got some old sweats that might fit you for you to sleep in."

"Woah! Wait! How come Blaine gets to sleep over and Rachel doesn't? That's not fair."

Kurt sighed, tugging Blaine up from the chair as he stood up. "Because, dear brother, Rachel would say no even if you asked her. She'd be terrified that you'd jump her bones."

"Oh yeah, right," Finn replied sarcastically. "As if you two aren't going to get it on as soon as your door is shut."

"You're just jealous." Kurt pulled Blaine towards the stairs and turned back as he was about to start his way up. "It helps that my boyfriend isn't as much of a frigid bitch as your girlfriend."

"Hey." Blaine looked affronted. "I'm not even a little bit of a frigid bitch."

Kurt smiled and put his arm around Blaine's waist, and they ascended the stairs together.

Puck turned from where he was staring after them and looked over to Finn.

"Dude. Maybe dating guys is the way to go…"

Finn whipped the chip bag at his head.


	5. The Sounds You Make

**A/N: Porny porn. Walk away now if you don't like porn. 350 words. Silly and short. Enjoy.**

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><p>It isn't the way Blaine tastes that gets Kurt the hottest. Nor is it the way that it feels to run his fingertips along heated skin and know that those heaving breaths are for him, caused by him, that these breaths that Blaine takes through flared nostrils are all because of how Kurt touches him. No, what gets Kurt the hottest is the way Blaine sounds when he's falling apart under his fingertips. Kurt loves the breathy moans and sighs and every once in a while, a groan that rolls up from deep in his throat. He listens to Blaine, and he worships.<p>

Kurt squeezes his fingers deeper into the firm muscle of Blaine's ass cheeks and spreads them, breathing out against Blaine's twitching hole, and he listens. A sigh of relief, or maybe desperation. Maybe both. Blaine shifts against the bed, his arms stretched out in front of him with his face pressed into the pillow underneath. Kurt watches his back muscles flex, and reaches his tongue out to taste. He makes his tongue firm and traces a wet line, starting just above Blaine's hole and sliding up his back, feeling the tension of his back beneath his tongue. He pauses to bite gently between Blaine's shoulder blades before moving back down, and again he listens. This time a tiny moan, so small and quiet that it might not have been there, but Kurt heard it. Kurt shivers, and licks his way back down Blaine's back.

He pushes Blaine forward using the leverage from his hands still squeezing Blaine's ass, shoving him further into the pillow, and Blaine groans loudly, bucking his hips back into Kurt's hands desperately. Kurt keeps his face close to Blaine's ass and bites down on his right cheek, soothing the mark with his tongue. Slowly, so slowly, he slides his tongue to the side, and begins to trace it over the combination of rough and smooth textures that make up Blaine's hole, tasting and feeling and always, always listening. And Blaine is whimpering underneath him, his hips rolling in tiny movements, and Kurt feels triumphant as he points his tongue and pushes it inside of Blaine, his nose pressed against Blaine's crack, his fingers still squeezing.

Blaine cries out; Kurt grins.


	6. Purple And Orange

"Oh my God, Kurt, you don't even know how excited I am for this party. And these brownies are going to taste so good, how did you even _make_ purple frosting from_scratch_? That's so cool."

Kurt smiled to himself as he continued to stir the brownie batter around the bowl, glancing up every now and then to where Blaine was ever-so-carefully applying a layer of deep purple frosting to the already finished and cooled tray of brownies in front of him.

"I must say, this is one of my favorite ways to make such a mundane holiday more aesthetically pleasing." Kurt paused to pour the batter into a clean pan. "Purple and orange are a baffling color combination, but orange pumpkin sprinkles over purple frosting? Genius for Halloween."

"_Mundane_? Kurt, seriously? God, I love Halloween. One day of the year where you get to dress up as whatever you want, anything in the world." Blaine picked one of the sprinkles up out of the jar and put it into his mouth. "It's utterly liberating."

"And yet, at the stroke of twelve, you go back to being boring old you in boring old Lima, Ohio, with a boring old life to get back to." Kurt heaved a labored sigh and walked over to the oven to put the brownies in to bake.

"Hey," Blaine said softly. He walked over to Kurt and took his hands, turning him so that they faced each other. "You aren't boring. And since when have you ever turned down an excuse to cover something in bright blue glitter and wear it out on the town?"

"True… You know, I have been meaning to find something to do with that giant bag of peacock feathers I ordered off of eBay a while ago. Do you think…?" Kurt trailed off, moving away from Blaine as he began to plan in his head.

Blaine reached into the sprinkles jar and picked out another couple to nibble on. This Halloween certainly had potential to be one of the best yet.


	7. Poor Pippa

**A/N: Prompted to write something about Klaine carving pumpkins involving Pippa Middleton and both boys being completely terrible at the whole pumpkin carving thing.**

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><p>"I swear I am just going to stab this pumpkin to death."<p>

Blaine looked up from his where he was still meticulously scooping the seeds out of his own pumpkin and quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "Technically… It's already dead. They _did_ detach it from its pumpkin vine and all, so…"

Kurt picked his head up and glared at Blaine. He straightened from being bent over the pumpkin and placed a hand on his hip, increasing the intensity of his glare. "Don't make me come over there and carve _you_, _sweetheart_."

"Kinky, but I don't think I'm into that." Blaine scrunched his nose and smiled, walking over to wrap his arms around Kurt's waist. "What were you trying for anyway?"

"Pippa Middleton. Duh, Blaine. But I just couldn't…. Her nose just wouldn't cooperate and don't even get me _started_ on her mouth, for the love of God." Kurt sighed in exasperation and stabbed his knife into the side of the pumpkin's lopsided mouth. Blaine closed his hand over the orange handle and cocked his head to one side, eyeing the pumpkin contemplatively.

"You know, maybe if I just…" Blaine tugged the knife to the right slightly, ripping an even larger gash into the side of the pumpkin's mouth. "Umm… Oops?"

"Yeah, oops." Kurt grabbed the knife away from Blaine, and flung it away into the middle of the newspaper covered table top. "You know, now it sort of looks like The Joker… Just a bit."

Blaine touched a fingertip to the pumpkin's mouth gash, tracing the line lightly. "Why so serious? But I can approve. Heath Ledger was quite the hottie."


	8. Ducks Mate For Life

**A/N: OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE. I AM SUCH A WEIRDO. Also, many thanks to those of you that have story-alerted this thing. I will try to update it more often so you have more to read, y/y?**

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><p>"Did you know that ducks mate for life?"<p>

Kurt looked up from his magazine and over at where his boyfriend was curled up at the foot of his bed, scrolling through articles on his computer screen. Kurt made a tutting noise and nudged Blaine gently in the ribs with his toe. "You really need to get off StumbleUpon and finish your calc or you know you're never going to get it done."

"But Kurt," Blaine pouted. "It's just so many problems and this is so much more interesting and I like ducks and it makes me all sentimental and misty eyed."

Kurt cocked an eyebrow at his boyfriend and set his magazine down. "Ducks? Really, Blaine? Honestly, sometimes I think I should just drop you off at Rachel's and leave you there so you two can weep over girly movies for a while. Come back to me when you're a man again."

Blaine smirked at Kurt and shut his computer quickly before crawling forward and straddling Kurt's knees. He placed his hands on Kurt's chest and pushed him down against the pillows. "Honey, I am _all_ man, and you know it."

"Mmm, don't I ever." Kurt leaned forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's as Blaine slid his arms around Kurt's waist, holding him tightly. He pulled away and rubbed his thumbs firmly against Kurt's back.

"It's just..." Blaine bit his lip, looking away for a moment before meeting Kurt's gaze again, a soft look in his eyes. "I like the idea of mating for life."

Kurt smiled and reached up to cup Blaine's cheek in his hand. "I love you."

"Love you, too"


	9. Ears

**A/N: Prompted to write something about Kurt really liking having his ears touched. Here, have some feels. Also, the song Blaine sings at the end is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. You can find it on my tumblr at /post/16685345655/kiss-me-ed-sheeran**

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><p>Kurt lay with his head in Blaine's lap as they lounged in their bed on Friday evening. It had been a tough week for both of them. Kurt was finally getting settled into the job he had gotten into when he finished school and Blaine was starting his final semester of college. They had had a good holiday season and were now coming up on February. In a few months, Blaine would graduate, Kurt would be settled, and maybe they would be able to afford those gorgeous wicker chairs that Kurt wanted to put in their tiny living room.<p>

Kurt sighed and rubbed his cheek against Blaine's thigh happily. Blaine was propped up against the pillows and was working on reading a chapter for one of his classes. He held the book in one hand and the fingers of his free hand rested against Kurt's head. Every once in a while, Blaine would absentmindedly scratch his fingers through Kurt's hair, rubbing against his scalp with his fingertips. Kurt hummed gently as Blaine began to rub through his hair again, turning his head and kissing Blaine's thigh through his pajama pants. Blaine's finger scratched along his hair line and then began to trace gentle lines behind Kurt's ear, tucking the strands of hair back behind it and then coming around to circle around against his cheek.

Blaine huffed gently and stopped the movements of his hand as he clumsily turned the page of his book. His fingers had stopped to rest on the shell of Kurt's ear. As Blaine began to read again, his fingers twitched against Kurt's ear and he rubbed briefly before they stilled again, resting there.

"I really love it when you touch my ears," Kurt mumbled against Blaine's pajamas.

Blaine hummed. "How come?"

"It's just like… comforting." Kurt sighed deeply and shifted his body, pulling their thick comforter up over his legs and settling down deeper into the mattress. He pressed the top of his head into Blaine's belly briefly as he stretched his legs under the blankets. "My mom used to do something similar, I think."

"You think?" At the mention of Kurt's mom, Blaine had set his book down against his chest, his thumb tucked into his page to mark the spot he was at.

"Well, I sort of remember. I don't remember very well, it was a long time ago." Kurt reached down and cupped his hand around Blaine's bare ankle, rubbing his hand up underneath Blaine's pajama pants to rub just below his knee. "She would do it though, when I was sick or sad. Sit with my head in her lap and play with my hair. She would sing me lullabies sometimes, too. This sort of reminds me of that."

Blaine resumed running his fingers through Kurt's hair, working them in small little whorls and spiral patterns against his scalp. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Kurt's shoulder, letting his fingers trail down to the base of Kurt's neck, and then back up again to rub against the shell of his ear.

"I love you so much."

"I know," Kurt murmured. "I love you, too."

"I think I'm done reading for tonight. Come up here with me?" Blaine dog-eared his page and dropped his book down onto the floor next to their bed. Kurt smiled and resituated himself beneath the covers so he could lie next to his boyfriend with his head on his chest. Blaine reached over and turned his bedside light off, throwing the room into darkness. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Kurt placed a soft kiss against Blaine's bare collarbone. Blaine's hand came up to twine through Kurt's hair again, grazing his ear lightly as he drew patterns against his skin.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you sing me a lullaby?"

Blaine kissed the back of Kurt's head and pulled him closer, tracing small patterns back behind his ear. Kurt sighed and pressed into him, feeling his body against his own. Blaine began to sing softly.

"_Settle down with me. Cover me up, cuddle me in…."_


	10. Toddlers and Tutus

**A/N: Prompted to write about Klaine being pageant Daddies. Since I couldn't see either of them ever actually subjecting their children to that, this is what I came up with. Enjoy! Rated G. Wanna hear more about my Daddies!Klaine headcanon? Come visit me on my tumblr! URL is the same as my ffnet username. **

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><p>"Kurt! Oh my God, Kurt, come look!"<p>

Kurt came jogging around the corner into the living room just as their three year old daughter Stella slipped her Papa's Ray Ban's back onto her nose and posed, sticking her hip out and pouting her lips at where Blaine was kneeling on the floor, camera at the ready.

"Haha, Stellie, you look like a movie star! Blow a kiss!" Blaine sat back onto the floor and clicked away at the camera, capturing image after image of their daughter. They had taken to letting her pick out her own outfits lately and today she had decided to wear her favorite zebra print t-shirt over the midnight blue velvet party dress that Kurt had made for her for Christmas. To this already very stylish combo, she had added a pair of polka dot patterned tights and her Papa's black sunglasses.

"Daddy, will you put my hair in piggy tailies 'afore I eat breakfast?"

"Of course, little button nose." Blaine set the camera down and held his hands out to Stella. She skipped over happily and flopped down into his lap, sticking her thumb in her mouth as she cuddled against his chest. Blaine chuckled, stroking her silky chestnut hair. "Why you don't tell Papa what you'd like to have for breakfast this morning?"

"Pancakes?" Stella gazed up at Kurt hopefully, ruffling her skirt as she gave him her best smile. Kurt sighed and bent down, scooping his daughter up off the floor and settling her high against his chest.

"Okay. But only if you help me make them. And we simply must find you some lovely shoes to go with this outfit. I'm loving the blue!" Kurt pecked her on the cheek and turned back to where his husband was still sprawled on the floor, gazing up at them affectionately. "Wanna go grab her brush and some clips so you can do her hair while I cook the pancakes?"

"Absolutely." Blaine hauled himself up off the floor and moved forward to wrap them both up in a hug, kissing Kurt firmly on the cheek before heading off to get the things from Stella's bedroom.

"Daddy! Daddy, wait!" Stella shoved on Kurt's shoulder, pushing herself forward so she could catch her Daddy's attention properly. Blaine stuck his head back out around her door frame. "What's up, babydoll?"

"Can I has the clippies with the sparklies on 'em?"

"Oh, but of course! They'll go perfectly with Papa's sunglasses!" Blaine giggled, ducking back inside the room.

"Oh, ha ha," Kurt called after him. "I'll remember this moment next time she wants to try on your engagement ring and almost sends it down the kitchen sink again."

"You cannot compare sunglasses to my engagement ring, Kurt Hummel. That is just not fair at all." Blaine joined them in the kitchen, setting the hair things down on the counter. "Sentimental value and how I'd wallow in misery for years and all that."

Kurt paused in the process of pulling out pancake ingredients from the cupboards and turned around to eye his husband affectionately. "I love you."

Blaine grinned and leaned against the counter next to him. "And I love you, my darling."

He pressed his lips to Kurt's for a moment before they both felt tiny hands on their faces, shoving them away from each other. Stella was yelling indignantly in their ears. "It is not time for kissies, it is time for pancakes! Pancakes please, Papa!"

Kurt chuckled and set her down on the counter top. He kissed the top of her head. "Anything for my princess."


	11. Apartment Shopping

**A/N: Prompted by Mallory blacklondon on Tumblr to write Klaine "apartment shopping." Interpreted as not shopping for the apartment itself but for things to put inside said apartment.**

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><p>"How 'bout this one?"<p>

Blaine looked over at the page in the Ikea catalog that Kurt was looking at. It was filled with bed frames, all different shapes and sizes and colors and finishes. Kurt was pointing at a white iron bed frame, complete with a couple of frilly details on the headboard. Blaine frowned at it for a moment, knowing he could never comment on how feminine it was since Kurt would just berate him for placing gender stereotypes onto furniture. He looked around the paging, hoping to find one that he could counter with.

"I like that one better, I think." He pointed at a black wrought iron bed frame, similar to the white one, but with a brushed metal finish and less ornamentation. "I like the darker color and it will look nicer with all the blues and greens you're planning for the theme."

"Hmm, you're probably right." Kurt tapped a finger against his chin as he thought.

"Plus, I just find darker colors to be more soothing when it comes to bedrooms. I mean, not as dark as my room is now, that's a little too much. But darker and cool and just… relaxing, you know?"

"I like the way you think." Kurt flipped a couple of pages forward to the page with duvet covers. "Now what cover would we put on it though? Something with neutral colors?"

Blaine hummed, hooking his chin over Kurt's shoulder as he looked at the page. "I like that one," he said, pointing to it. "It looks like someone sprinkled grass over it. It would remind me of summer all the time."

"I like it too. I like you, also."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Kurt said, bringing Blaine's hand up to his mouth to kiss it. "I like you a lot."


	12. Burt Knows All

**A/N: Umm I don't remember what prompted this, it was either right after I bought some chapstick or someone just prompted me with chapstick, so. Yeah, enjoy!**

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><p>Kurt and Blaine sat on the floor of the living room with their legs tucked under the coffee table, their ankles tangled together. The only sound in the room apart from the occasional page turn or the sound of a swallow as they sipped their tea was the gentle scritch-scratch of Burt's pencil as he worked on his crossword in his recliner next to them.<p>

Blaine shifted, leaning over and reaching for his bag. He dug his Chapstick out and swiped some across his lips before setting it down on the table next to his notebook. Kurt looked up from his reading and picked up the Chapstick, uncapping it and putting some on his own lips before re-capping it and placing it back on the table near Blaine.

Burt had glanced up as Blaine shuffled his bag around and had watched the exchange, smirking slightly.

"You know if you share Chapstick like that, you're gonna get cooties." He tapped his pencil lightly against the arm of the recliner, half-glaring at them as they both blushed.

"I think we're pretty much immune to each others' cooties by now, Dad," Kurt mumbled dryly.

"Don't remind me." Burt grumbled good-naturedly as he shuffled his crossword around on his lap. "Hey, what's a six letter word for 'prophylactic'?"

"Dad! Can we please not talk about condoms anymore, especially in front of Blaine, because I know that that isn't actually a clue on your stupid puzzle!" Kurt cried out, slapping his hands down onto the coffee table as he yelled.

"Hey, calm down. By the way, they're on sale at Walgreens this week. Maybe you should stock up." Burt chuckled as Blaine laid his head down on the coffee table and closed his eyes, his blush spreading across his neck and up to the tips of his ears.

"One time Puckerman gave me a pack of "Her Pleasure" ones and told me to have fun. I didn't even have the energy to explain to him why it was so rude," Kurt sighed.

"Are we seriously talking about condoms with your father right now?" Blaine's voice was high and thin and very quiet as he gazed at Kurt with wide surprised eyes.

"Wait, did you never tell him?" Burt turned his gaze to Kurt, curiosity lighting up his features.

"No, I didn't. But I guess I should." Kurt turned to Blaine and smiled at him. "A certain father of a certain me decided it would be funny to go snoop around in a certain me's bedroom and he found the drawer where we keep all of the... stuff. So we talked about it. No harm done. But he shouldn't have been snooping."

Blaine stared at him for a moment before responding. "I don't... But if _my_parents had found any of that stuff, they'd castrate me. What..."

"Let's just say that after dealing with teen pregnancy and marriage and everything in between, I find it pretty normal that two people in a committed relationship who love each other should want to have sex. No big deal." Burt heaved himself up out of the recliner and set his crossword down on the table. "Who wants to help me make chicken breast for dinner?"

"We'll be right there, I've got this chapter to finish up." Kurt looked up at Blaine, who was still staring at him. "What?"

"I just... Wow. Wait. Does this mean I can sleep in your bed now or..."

Burt's voice carried through from the kitchen. "You're gonna keep your ass on that couch when other members of the family are present, kiddo."

Blaine squeaked. "Yes, sir!"


	13. Silly Finn

**A/N: Anon on Tumblr prompted "Finn walking in on Klaine, doesn't have to be smutty can be just kissing" so naturally, I had to make it smutty. Enjoy!**

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><p>Finn tossed his keys onto the table and shuffled into the kitchen. He opened up the fridge, standing in front of it for a minute before deciding that everything inside it would be too hard to put together for a snack and pulling out a carton of orange juice instead. He opened it and took a long gulp, reaching for an open bag of Doritos on the counter and and grabbing a handful. Just as he was about the settle down at the kitchen table and enjoy his snack, he heard some noises from upstairs.<p>

No big deal, though. He had seen Kurt's car in the driveway when he got home, so he knew he was there. He took another swig of orange juice and crunched on another handful of Doritos. And then he heard the thumping.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Finn looked up at the ceiling. Maybe Kurt was rearranging his furniture again. He did that sometimes.

_Thump. Thump._

_"Oh God, Kurt!"_

Finn choked on his next sip of orange juice. Last time he checked, furniture didn't talk. He set his snack on the kitchen table and got up, walking towards the stairs. He crept up them slowly, looking up at Kurt's door. It wasn't closed, so how could they be doing anything? Anyone intelligent would close the door while they were having sex.

Wouldn't they?

Finn paused on the landing, listening. The thumping had stopped, so maybe they were done? With whatever it was they were doing, because Finn wasn't exactly sure. Maybe he should knock and let them know he was here? Or like, ask if they wanted to order pizza for dinner? Maybe Kurt would let him order pizza if Blaine was over. He was always in a better mood when Blaine was over.

"_Mm, come on Kurt, quit teasing. More, please, come on!"_

"_Don't be so pushy, geez. Do keep begging though, I like it."_

"_Just come on, I- Oh, yeah, just like that."_

_Thump. Thump. Thump_.

Finn turned and fled down the stairs, flying out the door, his snack forgotten on the table.


End file.
